the dog's bollocks at yard

we recently had the opportunity to visit the dogs bollocks. the milkshakes were great, the vibe relaxed and the burgers worth every cent. can't wait to go back!

i've come across two burger joints in the most unlikely locations in my life. the first was fat alice's in mbabane lesotho. what could you expect here? the best burger i had ever had. that was until i came across another place in an even more unlikely local in a covered alley between two buildings at dogs bollocks. these burgers are culinary creativity at its acme. this spot makes the very best burgers in cape town. arguably even in the country. if you enjoy burgers you will not find better.

burgers as big as your head (i'm not exaggerating) and their tasty. pair this with a very easy-drinking house craft beer, swift and friendly service, good music, and a chilled factory vibe (you fetch your own orders from the counter).
i'm a fan. will be back and bring friends - vegetarians too.
it can get a little pricy but if you order smart, share a portion and opt for black label instead you can actually get away cheap.

so i’ve heard a lot about this atypic place and was impatient to go see it for my self… located in gardens …during the day the place is called the bitches tits and serves a good range of breakfast and lunch dishes that i heard are quite tasty , but if i’m here its for the dinner action ! by 5pm the place is called the dogs bollocks and they are serving cape towns finest burgers !they are making a definite number of 60 burgers a night,  so better get there early if you don’t wanna miss out , this is totally different atmosphere than anywhere else , as much for the decor or service .

after paying a visit to the bitch's tits for lunch and raving about that in a previous review capetowngirl suggested that the real winner was coming for dinner. the dog's bullocks as it so appropriately named after it's day time sister doesn't disappoint.

firstly - you come here for the people and the atmosphere they create. personally i thrive of heavy lashings of sarcasm, cynicism and dark humor ...this place tickles all those places. i fell in love with cape town for its quirky charm and it's people, this place is a good example of one of those bespoke "only in cape town" places.

warning - they don't care what you think so just enjoy all the puns, lewd humor and vulgarities that the restaurant walls and staff provide. trying to out humor the staff is one of my favorite things to do now.

on to the main event - the food. i had no idea what to order burger wise but i was told a slider of sorts would arrive along with the asian flavored wings (minus the fresh coriander because if it's not in a curry i just don't appreciate the taste). what arrived was a burger the size of my head. my gosh here i thought slider meant something small. first off i'm impressed that a bun this big is soft, i've had big burgers before and usually they fall flat with the bun, secondly on the juiciness of the patty. the beef patty on my burger was incredibly juicy and tasted great. the combination of onion, cheese, lettuce tomato and pickles provided a simple oversized burger prepared to a top not standard. my chips were delightfully crispy and dipped in the blue cheese dressing that the wings came with i couldn't have asked for a better burger. the wings did lack a bit in the juiciness department with the asian flavoring was tasty. i ended the evening sharing a chocolate brownie.

went to the dogs bollocks and the chicken wings (asian sesame sauce- this sauce was finger licking good )and the mexican chilli burger ( my friends had the jalapeño cheese & new yorker ) such an amazing vibe and had the best waitress sanja who explained the menu perfectly. as someone who feels like i am an expert level burger eater i felt half defeated by the huge burger which was amazing in taste. i will definitely go there again

used to love coming here when it wasn't so commercial and you brought your own cutlery/drinks/etc. feel as though the burgers have declined in size but otherwise still yummy!

interesting concept. the staff is trained to be fun and quirky , just like the restaurant's name . the burgers and the chips are good, definitely not mac donald style. there are better option in town though, but you go there for a drink and some laugh. the big common tables are bit annoying if you are not a "people" person.

finally got to the much talked about dogs bollocks. the venue is rough and rustic and is better in pics than in person but an interesting place. it must be freezing in winter. fun concept of writing your name on a board as you arrive as one person from the table is responsible for collecting the meals and cutlery. burgers had to be explained as not clear from the board what exactly you're about to order and then you need to focus otherwise you will miss the details. but i guess this is the whole concept. the waitress was quite patient in repeating as was the chef. 

we had arrived either to have a late breakfast or an early lunch but we were hungry so couldn't decide. the breakfasts are well priced but small! the r50 meal deals on offer are basically non-existent as when asked about them the waitress underplayed it and said it was just a small burger....hmmm then why promote it. 

we all opted for burgers which were large and delicious although very doused in sauce. this is definitely not a place to visit if you're eating healthy. coffee good as its deluxe. burger prices not cheap!

great vibe, tasty food and one hell of a fun place to eat! the energy here is electric and always a pleasure! the dark alley way restaurant that could :)

if you cracked the top 50, well done, as there are only 50 burgers a night served and your only choice is with or without cheese.. service is average, burger isn't he best you will eat but then u are in a man's garage so experience trumps food

the atmosphere is great, but unfortunately the burger was not up to scratch at all. the toppings are interesting, but the size of the burger makes it almost impossible to eat.

the size might be forgiven if the meat was good, but sadly the quality of the patty made it totally inedible.


the breakfast is much better than the burger.
a very cool novelty experience, hopefully the food will improve.

had a great experience.

the staff were super welcoming and friendly. they were attentive and helpful but not crowding or hovering.

the atmosphere is lively, energetic and young. it feels like a small community.

the burgers were big, juicy and flavour packed. the patties were fresh and incredibly good.

they accept card payments now and not only cash which is great.

only negatives: no salt and pepper on our table and i couldn't order a bloody mary. 😐🍅

the cavalier attitude of the place seems cool. but the food is so bad. cold patty and soggy bun. lettuce was old. bland mexican chilli sauce.

so far, still my favorite burger spot! love it! love the space you are in, the tables and chairs you sit on, takes me back to my childhood, and the burgers never disappoint! massive, juicy, yummy burgers.