the dog's bollocks at yard

burgers as big as your head (i'm not exaggerating) and their tasty. pair this with a very easy-drinking house craft beer, swift and friendly service, good music, and a chilled factory vibe (you fetch your own orders from the counter).
i'm a fan. will be back and bring friends - vegetarians too.
it can get a little pricy but if youordersmart, share a portion and opt for black label instead you can actually get away cheap.

after paying a visit to the bitch's tits for lunch and raving about that in a previous review capetowngirl suggested that the real winner was coming for dinner. the dog's bullocks as it so appropriately named after it's day time sister doesn't disappoint.

firstly - you come here for the people and the atmosphere they create. personally i thrive of heavy lashings of sarcasm, cynicism and dark humor ...this place tickles all those places. i fell in love with cape town for its quirky charm and it's people, this place is a good example of one of those bespoke "only in cape town" places.

warning - they don't care what you think so just enjoy all the puns, lewd humor and vulgarities that the restaurant walls and staff provide. trying to out humor the staff is one of my favorite things to do now.

on to the main event - the food. i had no idea what toorderburger wise but i was told a slider of sorts would arrive along with the asian flavored wings (minus the fresh coriander because if it's not in a curry i just don't appreciate the taste). what arrived was a burger the size of my head. my gosh here i thought slider meant something small. first off i'm impressed that a bun this big is soft, i've had big burgers before and usually they fall flat with the bun, secondly on the juiciness of the patty. the beef patty on my burger was incredibly juicy and tasted great. the combination of onion, cheese, lettuce tomato and pickles provided a simple oversized burger prepared to a top not standard. my chips were delightfully crispy and dipped in the blue cheese dressing that the wings came with i couldn't have asked for a better burger. the wings did lack a bit in the juiciness department with the asian flavoring was tasty. i ended the evening sharing a chocolate brownie.

finally got to the much talked about dogs bollocks. the venue is rough and rustic and is better in pics than in person but an interesting place. it must be freezing in winter. fun concept of writing your name on a board as you arrive as one person from the table is responsible for collecting the meals and cutlery. burgers had to be explained as not clear from the board what exactly you're about toorderand then you need to focus otherwise you will miss the details. but i guess this is the whole concept. the waitress was quite patient in repeating as was the chef. 

we had arrived either to have a late breakfast or an early lunch but we were hungry so couldn't decide. the breakfasts are well priced but small! the r50 meal deals on offer are basically non-existent as when asked about them the waitress underplayed it and said it was just a small burger....hmmm then why promote it. 

we all opted for burgers which were large and delicious although very doused in sauce. this is definitely not a place to visit if you're eating healthy. coffee good as its deluxe. burger prices not cheap!

had a great experience.

the staff were super welcoming and friendly. they were attentive and helpful but not crowding or hovering.

the atmosphere is lively, energetic and young. it feels like a small community.

the burgers were big, juicy and flavour packed. the patties were fresh and incredibly good.

they accept card payments now and not only cash which is great.

only negatives: no salt and pepper on our table and i couldn'tordera bloody mary. 😐🍅

this place is such a unique, hidden restaurant with a rock n roll edge. it's set up in an old garage, therefore rustic does not sufficiently describe it. the set up is very different in that youorderyour burgers by going to the till to pay then writing your name on a chalkboard. thereafter they shout yourordername which is all part of the experience. the rock n roll music and ladies singing along creates a comfortable atmosphere where all judgment is left at the door. the burgers are double the size of normal burgers i've had elsewhere and the flavours are great! i would place this in my list of best burgers for sure because the experience and great taste of the burgers make it a worthwhile place worth trying.

we went to the dog's bollocks for a work lunch, all having a good laugh at telling people where we were going.

the set up is quirky, with a few big tables in an alley-like environment. the menu is simply: all-day breakfasts, tacos, and rolls. i opted for a vegetarian lunch (mexican taco was given beans and the asian taco got mushrooms) and i shared a jalapeño wet fries (wet fries = cheese drenched).

i was underwhelmed by the tacos unfortunately, and my experience was further dampened by ourorderbeing confused. we were a table of 14, so that definitely contributed, but anorderwas wrong and two chip bowls had to be requested again. there is some sort of construction happening at present so that also caused a bit of disruption and it was hot in there, despite the fans (in their defense, it was a very hot day).

the chips were amazing though and the environment was fun and great for something a little different.

i can't believe i haven't tried this place before! i had an amazing meal here and the vibe and atmosphere is so awesome and something so different! our waitress was so friendly and really made us feel welcome! it is a very different restaurant with some trendy and unique decor. when you arrive you write your name with chalk and a board and then when yourorderis ready they call out your name to fetch your food- it gives the place a lot of character hearing orders being shouted out. the burgers were so delicious and fresh and were really big! i had the 3b chicken burger which was divine. overall we had such an awesome experience here and we will definitely be back!

100 points for atmosphere and quirky original staff and decor. this burger joint surpasses most for pure energy. great burgers, made toorderin a 30 minutes conveyor style. go for drink, don't be in a hurry

fun experience, what with the biggest burger in the city dominating your plate, and scribbling yourorderon a chalkboard first-come-first-serve. however, definitely not the best burger, and often your side salad comes inside your burger.............. i have literally taken out about half of the lettuce in my burger and created my own hefty side salad.

go there for the experience and the ambience and the novelty of writing your ownorderon a chalk board. don't go there expecting the best burger you will ever eat.

if you do not know that you must write yourorderon the blackboard then you can forget to be served.  when someone like another customer tips you off to this rule then you will eventually receive your food.  i went for breakfast and seriously do not understand how someone is allowed to serve food in this location between 2 buildings.  ps the breakfast was messy and unpleasant to handle.

i loved how quirky everything is. the decor, the ladies that made the delicious food, the ordering system. it was a bit disappointing that i couldn'tordera burger as i was there during the day but i still enjoyed it.

very different and worth a visit at least once ...

it's in a garage / warehouse ..

menus are on the wall. when you are ready toorderyou write your name on the wall. when they are ready for you they call your name to take your order. when yourorderiscready they call your name to fetch it.

massive burgers .. no cutlery .. messy ...

very friendly and efficient staff ..

tipp: ask a knife to cut your burger into pieces .. lol

food: 4,5- there's a wide selection of burgers, i devoured a "3b"- bacon, barbecue and cheese (maybe the "2b1c" would be more apt?) the beef patties are deliciously juicy, buns pillowy soft and the crispy, fluffy chips are a welcome addition! it's a glorious mess so make sure to pick up some serviettes when you go up to collect your sumptuous repast.
wine: 2- a choice between red or white and neither option is particularly enjoyable if you're an oenophile!
ambience: 4- super relaxed and fun
setting: 4- garage/ junkyard turned restaurant.
service: what service? write yourorderon the wall and wait to be yelled at by one of the hot burger chicks to place your order. love it!

notes:
a mate of mine had the "old skool" burger which was under seasoned and a bit dry.

chicken wings prepared in a choice of marinades as well as a generous plate of cheesy nachos are other options on their wall menu.
they have a bacon and banana burger which i will have to return for!

hole in the wall that you can't help but love! write yourorderon the door and wait to be yelled for by one of the "b'tches"! go there hungry! burgers are massive and deliciouso! use zapper to pay instead of cash. #justenjoy