the dog's bollocks at yard

we recently had the opportunity to visit the dogs bollocks. the milkshakes were great, the vibe relaxed and theburgersworth every cent. can't wait to go back!

i've come across two burger joints in the most unlikely locations in my life. the first was fat alice's in mbabane lesotho. what could you expect here? the best burger i had ever had. that was until i came across another place in an even more unlikely local in a covered alley between two buildings at dogs bollocks. theseburgersare culinary creativity at its acme. this spot makes the very bestburgersin cape town. arguably even in the country. if you enjoyburgersyou will not find better.

so i’ve heard a lot about this atypic place and was impatient to go see it for my self… located in gardens …during the day the place is called the bitches tits and serves a good range of breakfast and lunch dishes that i heard are quite tasty , but if i’m here its for the dinner action ! by 5pm the place is called the dogs bollocks and they are serving cape towns finestburgers!they are making a definite number of 60burgersa night,  so better get there early if you don’t wanna miss out , this is totally different atmosphere than anywhere else , as much for the decor or service .

after paying a visit to the bitch's tits for lunch and raving about that in a previous review capetowngirl suggested that the real winner was coming for dinner. the dog's bullocks as it so appropriately named after it's day time sister doesn't disappoint.

firstly - you come here for the people and the atmosphere they create. personally i thrive of heavy lashings of sarcasm, cynicism and dark humor ...this place tickles all those places. i fell in love with cape town for its quirky charm and it's people, this place is a good example of one of those bespoke "only in cape town" places.

warning - they don't care what you think so just enjoy all the puns, lewd humor and vulgarities that the restaurant walls and staff provide. trying to out humor the staff is one of my favorite things to do now.

on to the main event - the food. i had no idea what to order burger wise but i was told a slider of sorts would arrive along with the asian flavored wings (minus the fresh coriander because if it's not in a curry i just don't appreciate the taste). what arrived was a burger the size of my head. my gosh here i thought slider meant something small. first off i'm impressed that a bun this big is soft, i've had bigburgersbefore and usually they fall flat with the bun, secondly on the juiciness of the patty. the beef patty on my burger was incredibly juicy and tasted great. the combination of onion, cheese, lettuce tomato and pickles provided a simple oversized burger prepared to a top not standard. my chips were delightfully crispy and dipped in the blue cheese dressing that the wings came with i couldn't have asked for a better burger. the wings did lack a bit in the juiciness department with the asian flavoring was tasty. i ended the evening sharing a chocolate brownie.

used to love coming here when it wasn't so commercial and you brought your own cutlery/drinks/etc. feel as though theburgershave declined in size but otherwise still yummy!

interesting concept. the staff is trained to be fun and quirky , just like the restaurant's name . theburgersand the chips are good, definitely not mac donald style. there are better option in town though, but you go there for a drink and some laugh. the big common tables are bit annoying if you are not a "people" person.

finally got to the much talked about dogs bollocks. the venue is rough and rustic and is better in pics than in person but an interesting place. it must be freezing in winter. fun concept of writing your name on a board as you arrive as one person from the table is responsible for collecting the meals and cutlery.burgershad to be explained as not clear from the board what exactly you're about to order and then you need to focus otherwise you will miss the details. but i guess this is the whole concept. the waitress was quite patient in repeating as was the chef. 

we had arrived either to have a late breakfast or an early lunch but we were hungry so couldn't decide. the breakfasts are well priced but small! the r50 meal deals on offer are basically non-existent as when asked about them the waitress underplayed it and said it was just a small burger....hmmm then why promote it. 

we all opted forburgerswhich were large and delicious although very doused in sauce. this is definitely not a place to visit if you're eating healthy. coffee good as its deluxe. burger prices not cheap!

if you cracked the top 50, well done, as there are only 50burgersa night served and your only choice is with or without cheese.. service is average, burger isn't he best you will eat but then u are in a man's garage so experience trumps food

had a great experience.

the staff were super welcoming and friendly. they were attentive and helpful but not crowding or hovering.

the atmosphere is lively, energetic and young. it feels like a small community.

theburgerswere big, juicy and flavour packed. the patties were fresh and incredibly good.

they accept card payments now and not only cash which is great.

only negatives: no salt and pepper on our table and i couldn't order a bloody mary. 😐🍅

so far, still my favorite burger spot! love it! love the space you are in, the tables and chairs you sit on, takes me back to my childhood, and theburgersnever disappoint! massive, juicy, yummy burgers.

the waitresses have a unique and raw way of service that is actually very effective.burgersare massive but absolutely delicious, great gluten free options too!

this place is every thing .
bubbly , bohemian , loud , rude , edgy and full of joy.
decor with anarchist touch .
theburgers, orgasmic . best in cape town .
the service is the best thing and thats simply because they don’t serve you much , they just explain what they can offer you and you move your butt and serve yourself and that’s just makes you feel like you are in the backyard of your friend’s house .
the cheerful spirit of the space is the waitress with the serotonin tattoo , her human presence glues this artistic place .
a must visit .

ordered one of yourburgersfrom mr. delivery and the burger arrived cold. i do not know who was in the wrong there. the lettuce wasn't properly washed, the meat of the patty was cold and the french fires were the biggest disappointment. i expected the fries to be fresh but they tasted cold, stale and were actually as if they came out of a mccain chip bag. i will not be having the dog's bollocks burgers, both in house and from an online delivery, again.

uhm how have i been sleeping on this place? decided to stay in on a friday night and orderin a cheese burger with fries, binge watching soppy hallmark movies.

wow theseburgersare just rude! huge and insanely tasty. so big, you could easily share it amongst two people (i actually saved half for the next day). the beef is gorgeous, flame grilled to perfection. the burger has just the right amount of condiment and trimmings on it.

this may actually be the best burger i’ve had in cape town! so good!

update: even the pizzas are amazing!

i heard of this not-so conventional eatery around 5 years ago. and finally, finally, i can tick the dog’s bollocks off my list. and my, what an experience it was!

our first interaction was with our waitress, an over-the-top, larger than life woman who greeted us with ‘whazzup motherfuckers!’ to say it was original would be an understatement. from that first moment i realised this place is different to any other burger bar i’ve been to before.

the dining experience is very laid-back, super informal, loud and awesome. we had a few beers while we waited for our burgers. now, i can’t stress this enough, go hungry, famished, ravenous, all together. theirburgersare huge. no really, huge. i ate half of my burger and chips and it still looked bigger than what you would normally get served in a restaurant.

i had the beef burger with caramelised onions and a tasty basting sauce and cheese. the onions were divine, the patty tasty and the burger bun was yummy (i don’t know what they do to it, but it was the bomb diggity). all in all, it was a delicious meal and a really fun, unexpected evening.
(the pizzas are apparently also good.)

next time, however, i’ll opt to share a burger with someone. it was far too much food and the takeaway doesn’t taste as great the next day (which is totally normal. it’s a burger; it’s not meant to be eaten in two sittings).

the dog’s bollocks is all about not keeping up with the status-quo, insanely big burgers, and of course, not giving a f*ck. a must-visit for all burger-lovers.