nightmare on 14th avenue. even if you are not pyrophobic, germophobic, claustrophobic, or automysophobic--this place is a dirty, greasy, over-crowded sleaze wagon with a very skinny entrance/exit. if you weigh more than 275 pounds you'll barely get through the door, and if you eat here too often you won't be coming back because you'll be over 275 in no time. there is no sign for another exit, though one can pray that by jumping over the counter and pushing past the cooking equipment (and hopefully a sink and dishwasher) they might find another way out via a back door. as one can see from the "8 photos" of the place, lots of paper and wire dust and grease catchers hang above the counters where customers eat and where food is cooked--even some greasy old christmas lights. if this oil-soaked place ever caught on fire, a lot of people would go up in smoke in the meltdown and or be trampled as the overcrowded masses rushed towards the skinny entrance. this restaurant has no toilets, no restrooms, no place for customer's to wash hands, change diapers, or freshen up in any manner. and believe me, after breathing burnt grease in this filthy pit of unsanitary unsavoriness--standing behind and hovering over somebody who is trying to hastily wolf down their food and just get out; or wolfing your own food as somebody sneezes down upon you--you will be wishing for a shower at best and a wash-up at least--before you even sit down on the very uncomfortable short stool where you finally get an opportunity to place your order and thenwaitsome more. the longwaitbegins outside (cold in winter, hot in summer) where you can expect to be for an hour before you get inside towaitbehind the people eating on the stools. like at disneyville's in fla or ca, there should be a sign once you actually get into the crowded vestibule before going through the tiny door--the sign should read "wait is one hour from this point!" besides the urge to wash up, another reason why a bathroom might be nice is most of al's customers buy coffee next door at espresso royale, a clean and well-lighted place, and drink coffee while waiting. does al's know about the bathroom problem? yes. they even have a grease-coated sign "please do not use the bathroom at espresso royale!" hanging on the wall. it's just another thing the noisily yuck-yucking over-the-top employees kind of laugh off as they throw dirty silverware down the counter at the customers who at this point in the merry-go-round would rather pee than even think about ordering food or drink. the woman who works the window grill is very pleasant, but a couple of the dudes were flippantly rude.
once inside, you find minimal ventilation, minimal heat in winter, minimal or no air in summer--for the obvious reason that the door opens and closes on a slow cadence during this dizzying, suffocating, merry-go-round to insanity. i mean, picture yourself as a plucked chicken slowly turning on a spit over a greasy fire... and once you get to the stools designed for grade school kids, you got somebody breathin' down your neck in addition to the torture of tolerating the infant and toddling children of customers who should know better than to bring young children into a place that is bound to make any baby or small kid act up. (and no place to change a diaper or calm a squalling toddler. i question the "kid-friendly" rating for this; more like "nightmare on 14th avenue.") the worst place at the minnesota state fair is better than this! so much for "ambiance." for the price, the food is mediocre to okay, if you're lookin' for adventure and you got three hours to kill. and if you don't mind trying to enjoy your food while wishing you could use a clean restroom. if not, stay home and make a flapjack-berry-bacon-egg-waffle sandwich, deep fry it or fry it in a pan with an inch of oil, and smother it with peanut butter and your choice of several varieties of hot sauce and/or syrup, and then read this while eating it. you'll be glad you just tried it at home, where you can wash up before and after the meal, not have to worry about a stampede if someone yells "fire!", and you can use the bathroom whenever you please.