slow bar

touted by many as both divey and sexy (but not dirty, well, maybe “dirty,” but not grimy), slowbaroffers a sophisticated yet affordable array of dinner items, the most notable being the slow burger, which consists of a 1/2lb. of painted hills natural beef, gruyere, onion rings, butter lettuce and pickle relish. i’ve heard good things, but i wasn’t there for the burger. i was there for the bloody.

good hipsterburgers. slowbaris the kind of place where you can sit at the counter and overhear portland hipsters comparing high-end burger joints where they've eaten, and discussing the killer-ness of various hot sauces. lots of inked body parts on the staff and customers, some quirky facial hairstyles on the guys, but the portland hipster style seems to be ironic hats like beanies instead of thick-rimmed glasses like other towns' hipsters wear. slowbaris in a neighbourhood where there are help organizations for the street people, and it struck me that many of today's slumming-it hipsters are going to be the homeless people of the future, after too many years of working at dead-end loading dock jobs and drinking too much cheap beer.

the restaurant's signature slowburger is big -- half a pound of coarsely ground but lean beef (no gristle in mine). it was cooked perfectly, a little char on the outside, not too tough on the inside, good soft bun. what was outstanding were the two onion rings that came on top of the burger. they were freshly made, not frozen, about an inch thick, good batter coating, nice sweet onions (walla wallas?) they should make a sandwich out of those onion rings, they're that good. better than the fries that come with the burger, which were skin-on and overcooked for my tastes.

slowbaris a bar, too, with 10 beers on tap, mostly microbrews. you know it's a hipsterbarwhen you see pabst blue ribbon being served on draught. excellent selection of canned beer as well, including hamm's. that's the brand of cheap beer that your thinking hipster drinks when he wants to say "i'm so cool that i drink crappy old beer that my grandfather drank when he didn't have any other choice, but i'm too hip to drink pbr like all those other trend-following hipsters." dude -- it still shows that you're a hipster. support your local brewer by drinking something from the area, not freaking hamm's from milwaukee.

beast of a burger. more often than not, my experiences with portlands most revered burgers, (and there have been plenty of them), is that they rarely deliver on the hype that precedes them. places like foster burger, eastburn, violetta and matchbox lounge left me wondering if there was something i had missed. perhaps i was expecting too much? then, when i had almost given up, low and behold, i wander out of slowbardrunk on the knowledge that a hamburger can still indeed be; a mighty fine thing.
first, while i am often left scoffing at cost vs. value in these situations, for the first time in a coons age, i felt like my money was well spent. it was obvious from the outset that everything in front of me was quality with a capital q. handmade (1/2 pound) patty made with local, grass fed beef, gruyere cheese, grand central bun, crisp cool butter lettuce and of course; their house made onion rings. they even chill their ketchup!? honestly, who does that? awesome. the fries (i believe) are of the frozen variety, but still; are pretty damn good. anyhow, i take a bite of this thing and viola! there it was; happy lights began flashing in the burger graveyard of my mind. once there was a view afforded, i took a peek into the makings of this beast and could see the herbs and seasoning in there that made it be more than just a bite of meat. the flavor of the gruyere worked in with these others faultlessly. grand centrals dense, but delicate pillar of strength never came close to faltering and the onion rings brought their own crunchy texture and hint of sweetness to the table. fries were also excellent. all this for $9.75. (which is cheaper than every place i have listed above). on the other side of the table my wife was gushing over her summer salad; a medley of grilled chicken, bacon chunks, cucumber, mixed baby greens, spiced nuts, rogue blue cheese and basil showered in a raspberry vinaigrette. she said it was probably one of the best salads she's had since we moved to portland 2 years ago.
i still love my club 21 burger (especially for the price) but this is a horse of a different color. one that we will gladly hop back up onto sometime very soon.
grade: a (the gentleman bartending left us wanting for nothing)

there are quite a few posts around various foodie and burger websites that call this "portland's best burger." even the titlebaron the slow bar's webpage says "home of the best burger in portland." i decided to check in out tonight, and see if reached t