just stop it, gaspar's, ok? just stop.. i drive past thisplaceseveral times a week and the fact that it bills itself as an oyster bar tempts me. my husband and i had visited a few months ago and ordered a dozen raw, pleasantly surprised that gaspar's had a decent selection of craft beers on tap. the oysters weren't too bad and we left agreeing that we needed to come back sometime; it was homey, down to earth, unpretentious, not great but more than good enough being that it's only a couple of miles from our home.
we went back last night, oh how i wish we'd not. we went back for the raw oysters and the craft beer and lo, the raw oysters were on special - that should have been our first clue something was amiss. being the trusting souls we are, though, we ordered two dozen. what showed up in front of us was a plate of dead oysters - they were raw but they looked as though they'd been sitting for a while; sinking down into the shells and melting into the liquor rather than bursting up with plumpness and life. no matter, down the hatch and chase it with a swig of bitter ipa. well, let me tell you, these oysters tasted like they'd been soaking in dirty dish water before they were shucked. i'm sorry to say it because i'm not one to complain much, but the oysters tasted like a stale sponge smells - mildewy and un-fresh. i've never not finished a plate of raw oysters and even if i'd not, my husband would scoop them up. but neither one of us could muster up the cojones to finish these.
we ordered other food to try and make up for the awful oysters; he got a hamburger and i got wings. hubby said the fries were really good. that was about it. none of our plates were cleared of food. but the beer was good.
so i get it, gaspar's. you're not really there to be an oyster bar, and you're not really there to be a restaurant. mostly you're there to be a bar where people can smoke and bring their dogs (don't get me started on the two giant german shepherd mix dogs lying right in the middle of the walk way; we had to turn around and go the other way because there was no room to get around the dogs and they and their owners just looked at us). i'm ok with that - be a patio bar for drinkers and smokers and dog worshipers.
what you need to stop doing is touting yourself as an oyster bar, because no self-respecting oyster bar serves raw oysters that taste like they've been soaking in a bucket of stale water from the hillsborough river for three days. and if you can't get your hands on any good, fresh oysters, you definitely should not be passing these nasty ones on to your customers - not if you're a self-respecting oyster bar. so just stop it, gaspar's. take down the oyster sign and put up a big flashing bar sign, along with a smoking allowed sign and a big giant dogs allowed sign. that should be just about right.