disappointing the rich since 1977 while sitting in caddebostan it seemed like a very clever idea to try out this place i saw on notonlyistanbul.com called jumbo burger. looks good in the video... well, everything they film looks good so i guess that is not a good criteria, but i signed in, logged on, and jumped through the 8 flaming hoops required to acquire a doruknet wiif spotter internet connection and loaded the jumbo burger website. the menu page doesn't work, at least on mobile, so i am including pictures of the entire menu for you. but the address was there and it was easy to wander down and find the place. it looks ok from outside, tables on the patio watching the beautiful view of traffic. the sun is shining, the weather is warm, and optimism blossoms. then it gets crushed. french fries are 9 lira. seems steep but i order them anyway because how can i really know about a burger joint without trying the fries? they are semiwarm, lacking flavor (pretty sure they are just frozen potato sticks, nothing special), and come with some sort of special sauce which is remarkable both in it?s resemblance to the ball bearing grease we used to pack hubs with in my past life as a bicycle mechanic, and its sickly-sweet oily texture. not for me but ok, i don't have to eat it. there is also homemade ketchup with the fries. here follows the recipe: mix tomato salça with water, add sugar, serve. washed down the fries with a 5 lira cola zero, approximately %30 more expensive than airport cola. nice. burger arrives. well, lets say a large piece of soggy bread arrives which takes several bites of archaeological expedition proportion to find any burger meat, which turns out to be more mcdonald?s style homogenized soy product than cow. it tastes like an islak burger from bambi cafe. only this one costs 11 lira. it also has the mystery ball bearing grease sauce. i am sad. i want to wash it down with the end of my cola but the waiter has taken it away with one sip left, about 2 lira worth i guess. jumbo burger kafeterya? only thing jumbo is the bill. cafeteria is a fitting description as it reminds me profoundly of the one in my high school. while leaving i saw the only smiling face, from the homeless man out front sipping raki from a powerade bottle. new powerade flavor suggestion: lion's milk.